From the moment you find out that your child is going to be deployed, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. They’re putting themselves in harm’s way for their country, and while what they are doing is highly honorable, as a parent there is always this wish that your child didn’t have to put themselves at risk, and that you would be able to continue keeping them safe and near.
Everything related to your child’s deployment can cause anxiety as a parent. Anxiety occurs not only before deployment, but while they’re fighting and even after they return. Anxiety is caused not only by worry, but also by change, and there is no denying that when your son or daughter deploys, everyone in your family is going through a lot of changes.
How to Address Your Anxiety
In life, anxiety often has no specific cause, so treating anxiety becomes slightly easier. By focusing on better outlets and changing one’s thought process, it’s possible to reduce and even eliminate anxiety symptoms. Unfortunately for parents of those in the armed forces, things are not quite that simple, because there is a justifiable reason to be concerned. You’re a parent, and your child is in danger, so while there are certainly ways to reduce anxiety, a little bit of nervousness will always be present. It’s part of being human.
Long Before Deployment
When you know the deployment date, it’s already important to start preparing. Change your schedule and develop new routines based on what your life will be like while they’re gone. Anxiety is exacerbated by change, so developing these routines early and getting used to them is important.
You should also find a support group early, and surround yourself with other parents that are going through the same emotions you are. When your child deploys you never want to feel alone, and having that support group already in place to share your fears and discuss coping strategies is very useful.
At Deployment
When your child is ready to leave, don’t focus on making a big deal of the event. Focus on spending time together. Anxiety can become worse if you host a large and raucous party or gathering, because once the party is over and your child departs, the drop off in energy can make your emotions feel more pronounced. You should, however, spend time with each other, talking about how much you care for one another and making sure nothing feels left unsaid. Also, once your child leaves, don’t be alone. Stay close to your partner and/or have people you care about around you.
While Deployed
While your child is deployed can often be the hardest, because there are going to be many times when he or she can’t contact you. Handling this type of anxiety may be the most difficult, and if you can afford to receive counseling, you should take advantage of it.
People cope in different ways, but the key is to pay attention to your own emotions and do what works for you. Contacting your son or daughter every day may not be the best strategy for everyone. It may be helpful to keep yourself busy with other tasks. Also, when you do decide to contact or send care packages to your child, make sure you’re having fun with it, doing things that are interesting/fun for you. That will boost your own spirits, and make contacting your child a fun –rather than an anxiety inducing event.
Dealing with Anxiety
There are a lot of successful relaxation exercise, anxiety reduction herbs and therapies, and other successful ways to relieve some of the anxiety you feel as well. The key is to find a way that works best for you, and be willing to accept that anxiety is going to be natural. The worst thing you can do is try to “tough it out.” Your child needs you to be as relaxed as possible throughout the process, including long before they’ve been deployed, and you owe it to them and to yourself to seek out strategies that will help you feel calmer and happier.
About the Author: Ryan Rivera has suffered from anxiety himself, and has compiled information to help others recover from their own anxiety at www.calmclinic.com.
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